Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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42.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Kid With ADD A Kid With AD- Oh Look! A Squirrel!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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Did you see Ray Charles's house? No. Yeah, neither did he.

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An eyeball walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he would like. The bartender promptly wakes up in jail because he was caught having a meth lab in his basement.

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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Knock Knock Yes?

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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What is worse than eating shoxy poulet.? Nothing

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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A dog walks into a bar. the bar tender asks" what'll you have?" the dog does not reply because dogs have not yet developed the type of voice box required to speak or the learning cappacity to be taught the English language.

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If there are 500 bricks in an airplane and one falls out how many are there in he plane? 499. Name 3 steps to get a Elephant in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2. Put the Elephant in the fridge 3. Close the fridge Name 4 steps to get an Deer in a fridge. 1. Open the fridge 2.Take the Elephant out of the fridge 3. Put the Deer in the fridge 4. Close the fridge The Lion King is having a birthday party. Every animal came, besides one. Who was it? The Deer. Because hes trapped in the Fridge. The Deer manages to escape the fridge, and hes running late. he encounters Crocodile lake. How will he cross it? He will swim through it because the Crocodiles are at the Lion Kings birthday. Then suddenly, The Deer dies. How? The Brick hit him.

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What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

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How do you wake up your snoring friend? Cut his feet off.

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Why did Bill yell? Because he stepped on a nail.

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Knock Knock Come in

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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say this really fast D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, D I C K, C H I C K, C H I CK, D I C K IF YOU CANT LIKE IT

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

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Johnson stops eating

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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