What do you call girls that can run faster than me? Virgins

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What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

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I grammer is gooder then yours.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!" The other bar patrons ask him what is wrong, to which he replies, "I stubbed my toe."

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If you were a Transformer, you would be Optimus Fine.

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You best friend has a bladder disease. You ask him how he got it. He says " I was watching the superbowl and had to go, but I didn't want to miss the commercials. So it was either watching the game and getting a bladder disease that would end up killing me or going to the bathroom . Now you know where i went wrong."

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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What do you call a car with no wheels or engine? Immobile

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A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

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Why did the man spill his coffee on his daughter? Because he is dying from Mad Cow disease so his hand experienced a traumatic spasm.

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NASCAR

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I enjoy telling anticlimactic jokes Very much.

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Hellooooo whos there? Its me fred Fred? A Canadian

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A black man walks into a book store.

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-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

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A blonde and a brunette are out for drinks. The brunette goes home early as she has to be up the next day.

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Why did Janelle fail her math test? Because she didn't study.

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Why do black people suck? Because they're black

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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"We have such clean water we drink and do a lot of other stuff with it" The American said. "What other stuff do you do with your clean water" The African Child said. "Well we take showers in and we go to bathroom with it" The American said. "So let me get this straight you even take a Shit in it to" The African Child said.

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What did one mail box say to the other? NOTING! In-animate objects cannot speak...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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