How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

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What do you call a person who is 6 feet under? Lost.

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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Wats a joke?

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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Three black guys walked into a bar. They all behaved very nicely, payed their bills and left when they where done.

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black people

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christimas? A: Cancer.

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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What do a white dog and a black dog have in common? They're both white...except for the black one

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

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What did the man say when he saw a truck in his yard? There's a truck in my yard.

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A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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