Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

Q: What do AIDS and rape have in common? A: If you play guard for the Lakers, neither will affect you.

Two rabbis standing at the buffet cart. The first exclaims "Oy vey, those pork chops look good!". The second shrugs, turns to his friend and remarks, "So do your wife's norks".

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your boobss.

Why did the boy go to heaven? He was in an airplane.

Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

Why did the man wear a blue shirt? He didn't. He wore a green one.

How much does a mexican immigrant get paid? Less an minimum wage.

Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

Why did Hitler kill six million Jews? Because one of them looked at him funny.

What's worse than being held hostage? Waking up and finding dick your mouth

What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

What type of person does a black guy go to when he's sick? The doctor

What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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