How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You sneak behind it and hit a shovel across its head.

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What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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roses are red, vilots are blue wan't you in my bed if you know what i mean ;)

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Knock knock Who's there? Your friend Jim Oh hello Jim, please come in it is very nice to see you this fine evening.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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a guy takes viatamins thinking they would help him be healthy he choked and then he died from choking on a jolly rancher

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

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what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

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Why do the cangaroos are weird? cause they have testicles in front and penis back, is real!

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What's brown and sticky? Anal rape

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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fabien

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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Sorry boss

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Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

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you will now laugh.

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A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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