Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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Roses are yellow Violets are also yellow Please don't stereotype again

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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What is the best part about football The scoring

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If we all evolved from apes. Abbie didnt go that far

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Q: Why did the Klansman go up to acclaimed rapper and television star, Flavor Flav, and say "Do you know what time it is, boy?" A: Because his trademark "bling" seems to be an actual functioning time piece. Q2: Why did that same Klansmen brutally murder Flavor Flav after he learned it was 5:46 in the pm? A2: Becasue Flavor Flav is black and that's kinda what you're expected to do in the Klan...

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how to you kill a black man. with a weapon.

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24

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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