What happens when you are a fat 37 year old virgin, with a small penis, poor bone structure, pale skin, a horrible personality, and no friends? You spend all night writing anti-jokes...will someone please like me?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Wanna hear a joke? Obamacare.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you get a clown off a swing Hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Hey Nerochan, how high is your IQ?

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How big is kevins Dick? Idk ask his mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

thumb_up thumb_down -35

whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

thumb_up thumb_down -73

What did the dead Catholic say to Atheist? Nothing. Dead guys can't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

thumb_up thumb_down +50

what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

thumb_up thumb_down +36

you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q. How do you break into a store that's closed? A. You walk in, I was lying about it being closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops