Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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Ken: Your dog is sick, he needs to see a vet. Megan: Omg, what is it? Ken: It's a medical person who treats animals.

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Women's Sports

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Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter, he's not coming

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:O + :P = 69

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Q: What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke? A: Quack

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Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: 9/11 jumpers 200 stories in 5 seconds

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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What do you call a gay black man driving off a cliff? A fine example of the dangers of drink driving.

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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What do you call a black priest? Religious.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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