Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob Matthews.

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Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

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What do you call the alarm system in a failing inner-city school? A dumbbell!

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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Why did the Jew fall off a cliff? Someone pushed him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was disowned by his family due to his drug addiction and had nowhere else to go.

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Why was Veronica lying on the sidewalk? She was just in a drive-by shooting.

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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poop

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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fabien

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What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

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How to confuse a blonde. Buy 14 monkeys dye them purple and orange and hide them in her wardrobe

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How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

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Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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