Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

Thomas the Tank Engine could see Express up ahead on the tracks! His driver shut off steam and applied his brakes. Ahead of him Gordon groaned "Ohhhhh stop your train! Stop your train! His driver and fireman jumped out quickly. Thomas tried his very hardest and eventually found himself slowing down. But there wasn't enough time and Thomas smashed right into the express. Seven people were killed and Thomas himself was smashed to pieces.

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

Roses are gray. Violets are gray. I am a dog.

Knock knock who's there? Hi! where from the church of latter day saints!

Knock Knock Whose there. Mike Mike seriously I told you to stop coming here or ill call the police But I just wanted to talk to you Ok thats it im calling the police

Type 17 diabetes. Hepatitis R. Pubic Lice. Just Pubic Lice.

Dancing Potatoe!

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

Spread the net.

Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

Why didn't Jim go to the party? He wasn''t invited.

What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

what is the awesomest of them all? me

What looks like a 50p and has a narrow back?

Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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