If god gives you lemons You find a new god.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hi Shelby!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +20

buttcrack thumbs up

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A priest, a rabbi, and a whale sit down at a bar. The priest says to the bartender, "Jesus Christ is our savior." The rabbi responds, "No. Our savior has not yet been born." To which the whale adds, "MMMUUURRRAAAAAAOOOUUU!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A fish swims up stream for his anual spawning season The fish dies from a heart attack because of the rigorous that took place.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops