What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a knife Take off your clothes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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it was christmas day and the boy opened his first present... and he immediately got aids.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

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Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: A deaf guy

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A pedophile walks into a daycare

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

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Dislike if you are gay (watch how many dislikes this joke gets :P)

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A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

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Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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Hope you all drop the soap in prison

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whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops