If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Ah, come in!

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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Why did the black man buy a gun?? He enjoys hunting legally

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? -taken care of. by: Calee^_^•

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i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers Roses are red, violets are blue I have Alzheimers

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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Why do Pelicans stand on one leg? Because if they stood on none, they'd fall over.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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A wise man once said, "Your life is your habits." So simple yet so true. My habits include: Breathing, having my heart beat, producing brain waves, and other regulatory bodily processes.

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"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

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how do you have a great time in a college town you don't

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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