Guess what happened when a man took off his jumper?? He became cold!

If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

What do the Japanese hate more than sitting in traffic? tsunamis.

Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Three men walk into a Bar.... You'd have thought at least one of them would have seen it !

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

What's really ugly and smells like a hampster? My hampster.

Poverty.

A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

why did the stupid boy put his clothes on his valentines? because hes stupid

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "one beer please." the bartender proceeds to go into shock as a duck just talked to him

- What's green and invisible? *holds out empty hand* - This cabbage

a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

whats red, white, and blue? idk go ask the president

What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.....

Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

Whats the difference between boyscouts and jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

What's worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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