What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Hitler like his steak well done? Because like many people, he didn't like the sight of blood in his steaks.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

So you're walking through the desert and the wheels fall off your canoe, how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 13 because baseballs can't have babies

thumb_up thumb_down +95

A man walks into a Scottish bar and sits down. Another man sitting at the end of the bar recognizes him and says "Hello, I've heard of you, I must ask, how did you get your name?" He replies, "You see that wall out there, protecting the town? I built it with me own 2 hands, so they call me Jon the Wallbuilder.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When is a door not a door? When its ajar.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than falling off your bike? Getting hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A: Don't hit those black people!!!!! B: Those are trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough it was car. The End

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A rabbit enters in apharmacy and asks for a carrot. The man says:"There aren´t any carrots in here." In the next two days the same happens, but the man replies that he'll hammer the rabbit if he comes back. In the other day, the rabbit is found dead with a bloody hammer nearby.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you survive a plane crash?? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down -53

so an american, a Hispanic, and a Indian walk into a bar in Washington D.C, and the bartender says to the american "I'm sorry, but u have to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your momma so fat she's fat

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I Love You Jordan! P.S. from someone you know

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Your momma is so fat that she is on a diet and exercises regularly.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter can escape the chambers.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

4/20.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

what has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange? nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The Pope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll ya have, Pope?" But the Pope's grasp of English is tenuous at best, so he mumbles something in Latin. The bartender doesn't know any Latin. The Pope gets frustrated and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What's the difference between a black guy and a Cadillac? One is a car and the other is a man. And it is insensitive to speak about race so blatantly, sir.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops