Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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What did the boy Tell to his friends? Nothing. He has noone.

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The original Superman: Cruelty! Do you remember the original superman color movies? Like when he just deflected lasers bombs fire and bullets, he threw busses, spun around the world, was completely immune to anything but kryptonite and then... (pls dont hate) ...Fell of a horse and became a complete cripple?

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are red Dead bodies are blue You can't see me But I see you

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

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whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

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waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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