A bass player walks past a bar.......... "hey, it could happen"...

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Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What's worse than losing your phone? Getting raped anal until phones fall out

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What did Jesus say to his disciples at the Last Supper? Go to Hell.

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whats cheese thats not yours? the one in the toilet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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Darude - Sandstorm

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Why was the swing in the kitchen?

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What happens when you have fish and a rhino mate? Nothing, that is physically impossible, a rhino is a lot bigger than a fish and it would not be possible for a rhino to do that with a fish considering a rhino can't breathe under water and a fish can't breath with out air.

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A man goes to a Korean-owned dry cleaner to pick up his suits. They were impeccably cleaned at a reasonable rate.

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what makes margaritas good. illegal immagrants in the basement.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got a boner and it raging for you

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Oh hot damn, this is my jam. Strawberry, to be specific.

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A boy eats 3 pounds of candy, 2 whole pizzas, and drinks 10 beers. Why did he puke? Someone came out of nowhere, and kicked him in the nuts

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y momma so fat that she's heavy

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ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

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Q:How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops