What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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Batman and Robin are about to get into the Batmobile. What does Batman say? "Get in the car Robin."

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Why didn't the [any object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. Why didn't the [other object] catch on fire? Because there was water on it. [repeat ad infinitum]

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Three bears take a bath Red bear asks for the shampoo Blue bear wants the soap Wait... That's not a joke, that's a Haiku

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Why is the world flat? I don't know ask the Native American who was curious enough to take his canoe, go out into the middle of the water and never come back.

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Roses are red violets are blue why dont u go take a shower

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What do you call a plane full of Arab guys? Something not so good.

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Why doesnt mexico have an olympic team? Because all the mesicans that can run, jump, and swim are already in the U.S.

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A traveling salesman breaks down on a rainy night, but spies a farm house. he knocks on the door and the farmer answers. the salesman asks if he can spend the night. the farmer says "sure, but i gotta warn you, i don't have any daughters."

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what did barrack obama say to the jew osama bin ladins a bitch

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An Irishman walks into a bar. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What does the latin maid does when I tell har to clean behind the couch? Nothing, she doesn't speak English.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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What doesn't kill you makes you...... A paraplegic

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Obama is a good president.

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:(Sneeze) :Bless You :Thank You! :Mention it :Thank You!

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What's worse than 4 black guys sitting in a Jeep that goes over a cliff? They were my friends.

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How did the baby cross the road? The baby got stapled to a chicken

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How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2.

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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What do eagles and ground hogs have in common? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

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If you don't live in the country, where do you live? The ocean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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