Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

Roses are red and blue Violets are red and blue Those 3D glasses really suck.

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

josh roberts goes into churches and forces them to listen and go by his religious opinion until they cry

Why didn't the teacher ask where Billy's assignment was? Because Billy died last week. -B

What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

whats worse than snakes on a plane? terrorists

why did phil ruin the patio furniture? because he wasnt familiar with the grammar technique used

What's red, black, and blue all over? A canvas with red, black, and blue paint.

- Why can't the boy play games? - Because he was born dead.

There's a fair in a small town in Scotland. In this fair is a sheep judging contest. There are 3 sheep lined up for judging. The judge looks at the first sheep and says "Wow! This is the most beautiful sheep I've ever seen! This sheep just might win!" Then he proceeds to the second sheep. He says "This sheep is even more beautiful than the first! This sheep just might win!" Then he goes to the third sheep. He says "UGH! This is the ugliest most disgusting sheep I've ever seen! There is no way this sheep will win this contest!" And the sheep looks up at him and says, "You think I'm ugly? Well I'm not."

Why Did The Monkey Fall Out Of The Tree? Because It Was Dead

Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because dead people cannot go to balls.

What's the similiarity between a black person and a bicycle? They both work best with chains.

Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

what's the best part about twenty three year olds? There is twenty of them

Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Wait your turn patiently.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens have short memories and no motivations other than food.

I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

Once upon a time there was a kid he was happy The End

A man walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken I don't see anything funny about this at all. -Tag

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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