- Anti Joke

A jew walks into an Oven....

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

Why did Ralph fall off the swing He was distracted because he had a perfect view of the twin towers when 9-11 was happening

Feet

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

A man came up to me and said," you suck" You know what I told him "YOU SUCK!"

Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

What's a bug's favorite sport? Bug's can't play sports.

derp

roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

why couldn't the man rock climb? he didn't have hands

How come the mexican couldnt support his family? Wendy's stopped hiring a week ago

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops