Why was the stress line down? Because now the population is one-hundred short of yesterday.

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What's red, black, and blue all over? A canvas with red, black, and blue paint.

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What would happen if you threw 50 plates off of your roof? Nothing. No one in their right mind would do that. Besides, who owns 50 plates?

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What do u call 4 black men in a car? A: carpooling

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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Why didn't the teacher ask where Billy's assignment was? Because Billy died last week. -B

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friends are like potatoes. if you eat them, they die.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Once cooked to a golden brown they are removed for human consumption.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poetry

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what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

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A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares

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knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

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A man and a prostitute walk into a bar. they have a few drinks then proceed to a hotel room where the man has sexual intercourse with the woman in exchange for money. The man then leaves while the woman stays in the hotel room and cries cause she hadn't achieved any of her dreams or life ambitions.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

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why did the chicken jump down the nest after laying eggs without flying? Because there was no ladder!

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A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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What's funny about my gay friend? He is a stand-up comedian.

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what goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz? baby twins in an acid bath.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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I am just not using any mentalism nor any of those techniques anymore that is all, is it alright if I call you now?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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