Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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Why did my phone crack? I dropped it.

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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dj miky

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Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. You know why it didn't? Because it wasn't a chicken. It was a dog.

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friends are like potatoes. if you eat them, they die.

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no one walks in to a bar bar tender: shit!

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A fat mexican man runs a marathon. Later, he is hit by a bus and raped by a squirrel.

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing he ain't already told her twice....

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Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

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knock knock. whos there? ............... stupid kids

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Why didn't the teacher ask where Billy's assignment was? Because Billy died last week. -B

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Plenty of things but you already knew that.

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What happened when you heard this joke? You didn't laugh.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Peoples' bad attempts at Anti-Jokes.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a Jew? Boyscouts come back from camp.

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A man and a prostitute walk into a bar. they have a few drinks then proceed to a hotel room where the man has sexual intercourse with the woman in exchange for money. The man then leaves while the woman stays in the hotel room and cries cause she hadn't achieved any of her dreams or life ambitions.

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A mathematician, a physicist and an economist are stranded on a deserted isle in the South Pacific. One day, a lantern washes up on shore. The scholars lament the uselessness of this object.

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What do you call a gay on steroids? Noah Zimmerman!

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen. You are going to go to jail.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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