What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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"Nice pair of crocs" said nobody

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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How did the gymnast fall off the beam? Got shot in the face

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what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

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how black is a black man? pretty black.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks... ...into an alleyway to have a quick smoke before entering the bar his friends went in.

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the battle of waterloo

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar, which happens to be holding a support group for dyslexic people tonight. The name of the bar and all patrons are palindromes to avoid confusion.

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Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender felt bad and gave him $20.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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how do you make a baby cry? throw bricks at his face.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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How do you call the smallest mouse on Earth? James.

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What did the brick say to the face? Nothing bricks don't talk.

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A Weight loss service that works

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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