Yo mama is so fat she went on a diet and lost weight.

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What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Knock Knock Hows there Theres no time for this you have AIDS

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I saw a man with a hungry look in his eye, like the kind you get from not eating for a while

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Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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So. The gays. ...

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What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

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This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

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Your time.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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What other than water contains H2O? The condensation reaction between two alpha glucose molecules to form Maltose.

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how do you make a dog roll over you kill it

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George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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