how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road To Get To The Other Side

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Wheelchair high jump

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

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a man and a woman walk into a alley. They get mugged the man fights back out of pride and then gets stabbed the woman escapes and then goes to the police the man is then found two days later. *gasp* what a weird dream.

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whats brown? poop.

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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This is not a joke.

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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sometimes josh roberts sees how many things he can get in his bumhole befor is starts to bleed.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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Geography Teacher: Bill, British Columbia agreed to join confederation when the government of Canada agreed to do what? Bill: To build a bridge to where my father is who is divorced with my mom.*tear* Geography Teacher: Is that really nesscary Bill? You have a detention.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

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Roses are red hulk is green, I'd smash that ass, If you know what I mean !

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

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A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

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What's better than sex? Nothing

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Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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