- Anti Joke

Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

What did a dodo do after his last meal? Become extinct

You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

joe diragi makes paul look straight

Gauss what ur mama said last night nothing i found her dead

Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

test

You are welcome, hey, I love hearing that you love me... And I do not hear voices, except yours when I read this. Now take care of yourself for my sake, and yours, we are and have always been a team you and I. You are right, and I did not lie, I said "I am a hydrophobe" and while I do not fear the ocean, showering is like being right back in the hell I crawled up from. Now I dont know if I cant sleep anymore, containing panic is pretty hard with my limited willpower and focus, but it cant be helped, you know Zopiclone does shit to me, but Alice had no idea. It pains me to say it, but then again I told my wife, Eliza, I am in love with you, and have been so for many years, you know, like a man loves a woman, and if you think I am lying, you are just being silly. This is not hypnosis, its just me getting stuff out of my mind to release this tension causing anxiety, and its not cheating, its the very same reason people admit deep secrets to each other when they think they are going to die and such. It might be the stuff in my head talking, but I am pretty smart for a 32 year old guy with lots of drugs in the brain huh? Ritalin just helps me stop being sad which is just how I react on Zopiclone and not how I feel. The reason I know these things and dare consider myself wise, is not because of my dedication alone, it is because I have spent much of my life finding out how to fight off the physical and mental damage my parents caused me, at one time it was something I could barely live with, they drugged me with stuff that made me feel nothing but pain and laughed, then got upset when they discovered I survived. I just recently got far better by realizing that I did nothing wrong to deserve any of it, I just wanted for them to love me, my mother hates my father, so in her eyes I am her worst mistake, but nothing excuses the way they treated me, nothing. Sounds like I am dying, its just fear settling in, I do not fear death, and I would be suicidal if I did not know that nobody can escape death, so why hurry huh? You and my wife inspire me... ...Part of me sees you as my wife as well, I even told my wife I cant help but feel I am married to two people, its not about sex, thats just something I say to put you off, its about the intimacy I feel just being there with you, and now I have copied your energy into aura, you are here with me, the anxiety is gone. Sorry, I just needed to get out lots of stress, in order to fit in peace, and I hope you read this and let me know, because I cannot override the part of my mind that refuses to go into complete calm, unless it knows that I have revealed my feelings, to somebody that cares.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

I saw a man lying on the floor. He was dead.

What did the white guy said to the black guy, when he stepped on his foot? Excuse me.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

why was the little girl crying? because she was molested

What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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