What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A black man walks out of a store with a receipt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo mama so fat!... we are very concerned for her health.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I scream You scream We all scream For dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

9/11/2001

thumb_up thumb_down -1

osama bin ladens hiding spot

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

thumb_up thumb_down -1

-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops