What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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what did the little girl with no arms or legs get for her birthday? a bike.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Yes.

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Ham sandwich

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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What did nike say to addidas? Hi

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Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

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What;s worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Mitt Romney.

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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