OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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A disabled man runs into a bar. He notices he's not disabled and realizes his mother lied to him his whole life.

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Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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what do you call a man that just got brutally murdered? i don't know, check his birth certificate.

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Q: How many jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 6 million and 1

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Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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Your mom is so fat that she is fat.

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why couldn't she get back up? She blew up

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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In Soviet Russia ? ??? ??? ????????.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Yo mama's so fat that she takes too muc oh fuck it I'm stuffed Henri and Chaz

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A woman walked into a bar at least that is what she tells her friends about how she got a blackeye.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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What's the difference between Kim kardashian and lebrOn James?? Kim got a ring this year

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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