knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

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Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

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Whats brown and sticky? Anal sex

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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JEWS

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

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If a tree falls in the forest does anybody really care?

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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There's a pair of siamese twins.....One of them's gay.

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Take my wife- to the store.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

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There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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Why is the women in the street selling her body for money? because she has 3 kids and a father with cancer.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jewish people aren't edible.

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What's grey got white stripes and can't climb trees? Car park.

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Haikus can be fun But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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what did Santa Claus say to Nikki Minaj? I really admire your musical talents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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