Chuck Norris died.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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An owl turns to the other owl. He has to, he can't move his eyes.

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Person 1 What's good? Person 2 Your mom's love making

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Knock knock *runs away laughing*

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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Q

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Traveling Salesman.

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how many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? one and a ladder

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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Two Atheists walk into a bar. A nearby Christian notices this fact and proceeds to slightly preach to both of the Atheists. They then kindly explain that they don't personally believe in God, but respect the Christian's opinion. They all order drinks, and become very close friends, engaging in a long, hateless conversation.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

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oh hiya come in

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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