Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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Beans beans, they're good for your heart, the more you eat the less at risk you become to such health problems as diabetes and heart attacks. The increased carbohydrates and antioxidant properties maintain a manageable balance for the body's digestive system to maintain a good constant internal environment.

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What did the black man do with the piece of bacon? He ate it.

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A blind man walks into a bar

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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Q:why do bananas where sunscreen? A:beacause they peel!!haha

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why did the chicken cross the road?? to go shopping for some aspirin because one of his children recently developed a raging headache and it was only logical for him to go to the pharmacy that was conveniantly placed across the road.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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What do u call a women between to black guys? -loose

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Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops