Guess who didn't have breakfast this morning? Kids in Africa

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Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

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Why do mexicans have so many children??? Because condoms resemble skinny balloons.

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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Why did the dad buy his son some ice cream? He didnt, his dad is dead

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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Uh, if I say that I am that girl, am I going to be safe?

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A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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shirt and blue, i call this one snow white, to score and seven years a jo, six samurai kageki, coral, 50 piece, specific frame, whats with that one, amy, hoption, smell my butt, smell my balls, smell my fart, smell my poop, urgay, one swipe, maestrostalfos, imdesiringyourhair, i call this one the cinderella story if you HAAAAAAAAAA know what i mean, paul are you ok?

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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kiss me?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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