What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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Sam alexander is also r8 g4y

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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Darude - Sandstorm

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What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

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Why can't Sean slam dunk cos he has no arms -•#21

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Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

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- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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I watched the news yesterday and they were talking about the conflict in Libya. I changed the channel.....

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Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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4,000 yaks escaped from the zoo

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what's the difference between a white man and a black man? their skin color

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Do you know what the cop said to the black guy? Your free to go

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Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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Q: how do u piss off a plumber? A: kill his whole family

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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