Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

A. Hey.. B. Hi

Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

Your mom is so old so will die soon.

Comedy.

Niki Minaj's ass

Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None, now stop hallutinating about wood chuck.

What do a ginger kid get for christmas ? it dusen't matter... gingers don't have souls.

Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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