A man walks into a bar what does he say Ouch

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

So one day a man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like to drink. He said he would like a glass of water. The bartender said "why come all the way to a bar just to get some water." The man responded "well its a longer walk to the coffee shop."

Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

Communism, Capitalism and an Irish man walk into a bar. Communism says, “I’ll buy the drinks but I require your complete obedient consent.” Capitalism says, “No I’ll buy the drinks but I require that you pay me back with interest” and the Irish man says “No I… I don’t feel very well at all… Oh shite I’ve got the bloody runs!” He then proceeds to shit myself.

P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

no

A jew go out of a bar

Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender picks up a newspaper and squishes him

Whats worse than jackass 2.5? Jackass 3-D

What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

What's black and white and red all over. Half a zebra

What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

A Banana wrote this...

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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