Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

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Man is hit by a falling tree his friend immediately responds "Got Wood" the man is now paraplegic

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Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

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hey

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A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said 'No'. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever. He said 'no'. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, Once again, he replied 'no'. She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said.. 'Asking emotionally charged hypothetical questions that are completely irrelevant to the prior conversation is known as fishing for compliments. Except, your tears seem to reflect a more serious inner emotional neediness. I suggest you seek a psychologist.'

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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verry nice how mUCH?

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What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and decide to have a drinking contest. Who won? The rabbi. The priest died of alcohol poisoning later that night.

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Hey i just F****d you, And this is crazy, Delete my number, And keep the baby!

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What is the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Lamborghini I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Potato

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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Why don't men ask for directions? They want to appear knowledgeable and strong. Asking for directions is sometimes considered a sign of weakness.

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

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If you say woman really fast it sounds like make me a sandwich.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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"Media Zombies" Sounds like the Nero I remember.

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what did the 3 hispanic men say to the fat guy? you're in our seats

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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