Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

Who makes the sandwiches in a lesbian relationship?

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

Q: How do you fit 100 mexicans in a van? A: Its theoretically impossible.

Ask me if i am a tree are you a tree? no

Nobody cares.

Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

Why did the man eat his hat? Autism.

Women's Sports

How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

Q:What did the ginger get for Christmas? A: A soul...jk,hair dye

whats the difference between a joke and the holocaust? ...There both funny..Exept for the Holocaust.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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