What's worse than eating a piece of elephant shit? Eating two pieces of elephant shit.

peter charastabopouloulous

Yo mamma's handwriting is so bad that its barely legible to most people!

It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

Why were there teeth marks in the guys arm? He bit himself

a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

What's worse? Cleaning a New York bathroom, or getting stabbed. WELL I DON'T GIVE A GOD DAMN!!! They both suck!

monkey sponge

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

A woman comes at the doctor.

what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

What's the similarity between a dog and a car? They're both made out of atoms.

A jew went to Germany.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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