Video Games

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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what did the black guy say to his friend who was on acid? man you trippin.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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[] i have read and agree to the terms of service Nope

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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Three surfers paddle out into the surf. They had a pretty good time, except one of them got a shit ton of water up his nose.

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what do you get when you put a baby in a blender? salsa how to you get it out? tostitos

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What do you call a guy who makes jokes about a girl being in the kitchen? Single.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

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Whats easier to fit in a trunk, babies or concrete bricks? Babies because you can hit them with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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