Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Jacob went onto anti-jokes cause Brock told him to and Jacobs his bitch.

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

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A. Hey.. B. Hi

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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Yes" the man replies, because he is aware that the bartender wasn't actually asking if the day way long, but rather if the day was hard.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she stepped on a scale, she saw her ex-boyfrien's phone number!

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guess what? What? you have to guess...your mama

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Why do you go to a black mans yardsale? To buy something cheap. Why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because it is illegal.

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Why was Martin Luther King Jr. Shot? Because he was black.

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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A man walks into a bar and talks with his friends. One of his friends said " Hey, who farted?" When the bar closed, Joe realized it was he who farted.

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a knife Take off your clothes

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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