Q: why are black people good at basketball? A: because they practice

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

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why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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I like pom

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What is big, red, and beats rocks? A big, red, rock beater.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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