knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

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Jim: Knock, knock? Tom: Who's there? Jim: You're. Tom: You're who? Jim: You're a retard. ............................ Tom: You're mean, like a hobbit...

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stranded on a desert island for a few weeks. They get to know each other really well.

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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