How did the blonde get blood on her Ipad? A terrible paper cut.

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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Penis in a butthole. Consentual Sex.

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

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Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Women Voting

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kconk Kconk who? Kconk Ohw Oh yeah, sorry mate, didn't recognise your voice! Come on up, I've got some lagers in the fridge.

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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How do you kill a polar bear? You melt the polar ice caps and take a rope and choke it till it is out cold. You then put a plastic bag over its head and throw it in the water.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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