Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I am pregnant And it's your baby

thumb_up thumb_down +28

roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Don't you hate it when ads just [CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS!* Please click this ad, so you can give us your full name, address, phone number, bank account number, pin number and mail your credit card to us, then you will receive your MILLION DOLLARS!* (you may or may not receive one million dollars) Thank you.] pop up anywhere these days?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I accidentally washed my white Labrador retriever with three red shirts and my Red Sox baseball cap. When I went to move the laundry, the dog was drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? KFC was on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats 2+2? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Asians are a lot like spongebob They're terrible at driving and good at karate.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why does Polly want a cracker? Because meth is too intense.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops