What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

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OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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What is the Civil War called in Virginia? The War of Northern Aggression.

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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