Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Why can't penguins fly? ......It is against their evolutionary state.

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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What eats dicks for dinner and smells like he just licked an STD infested turtle? Jimmy

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What's bigger than the Loch Ness Monster? Loch Ness.

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how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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How many Jews can you fit in an ash tray? 1 million.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

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What did the boy who got picked on everyday do? He took the bullies advice and killed himself.

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P1 : Yo mamma's so fat... P2: My moms dead

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how do u fit 20 jews in a car? 2 in the front and 20 in the ashtray

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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What's worse than having a bad hair day? Vietnam.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops