Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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A grasshopper goes into a bar It is stepped on and crushed.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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What is worse than a bus falling on you? A bus with Mama June inside it falling on you.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

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Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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Why is six afraid of seven? There might've been a little shooting accident a few days ago which put his mother in the ER. If anyone asks go to a bar and think in your head why you would ask something like that. Let it sink in.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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7

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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what red black and white al over? a t.v I was kidding about the red part

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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person 1: Did you hear about the black man that went to college? Person 2: no i haven't Person 1: either have I What's ironic is that they are both black

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Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

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Do you like flowers NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOW GET ME A COKE! And a pizza

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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