Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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An elephant and a rabbit sit on the forest floor and poop. The elephant asks the rabbit " doesn't it annoy you when the poop sticks to your fur?" "no" replies the rabbit. So the elephant picks up the rabbit and wipes his but with him.

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A chicken met a chicken, And they were chickens two, Two chickens met two chickens, And they were chickens too. Four chickens met a boiling pot And they were chicken stew.

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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No, but it was a nice chance to pretend to, that was the scheme part I might have mentioned, people never figure out that you are fucking them over at the present, if you tell them you fucked them off in the past, they start thinking backwards, often ignoring those tiny details straight in front of them. Listen, call me a bit paranoid, but who the hell is Septimus and AzureDragon or whatever the fuck his little geek name was?

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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why was the little girl crying? because she was molested

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why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

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What is white on top and black on bottom? Society

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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What's 9+10=? 19

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

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Knock knock Who's there? Prost Prost who Prostitute

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What do you call a unicorn without a horn? A horse.

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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