How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where was Susie when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mamma is so fat that she went on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

There was an Irishman and an Australian who walked into a bar. There was also an American, who didn't. Why didn't the American walk into the bar? He was a midget.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your so dumb, you didn't notice I should have used you're. Don't lie

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Jew, homosexual and Irishman walk into a bar. What a fine example of an integrated community.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mother is so fat that she got diabetes and later died of an unrelated illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops