There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Mitt Romney.

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Six million.

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What's the cure to Ebola? Suicide

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme coffee table.

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What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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Hippopatomous!

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what happend when the car hit the wall? it exploded and 4 people were injured, 2 were bystanders

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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kiss me?

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Children playing GTA......... what a world of rapists

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why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

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Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

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How many fools does it take to change a light bulb? A lot.

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How do you kill a fashion icon? First make sure their blonde and stupid like most. then take a barstool preferably or what ever is closest then........ WACK HER IN THE EMPTY SPOT WHERE HER BRAIN SHOULD BE.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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