whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

Hitler: Ve shud vork togeza and place stategic bombs overr your island. Castro: You are dead.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

A black man walks into a bar. The man behind him ducks.

How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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