Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, WTF is this, i gotta take a piss.

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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Why didn't Timothy wish his dad a Happy Father's Day? His dad died yesterday in a car accident.

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Why did the monkey fall of the tree? Because Newtons law states that we are all under the influence of gravity and hence an object, in this case the monkey, will fall down if it failed to stay on the tree.

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Wats a joke?

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Q: What's the worst part about being a black Jew? A: You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

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why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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The bird is not the word.... Its two

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What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops