a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two cows were on a field, one cow say "moo", the other... didn't say anything because it wasn't a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats water and frozen? an ice cube

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened to the Jew when he heard about the concentration camps being erected all over Germany? Nothing immediately. Then he and his family went into hiding where they were later discovered, taken to concentration camps and died along with millions of other Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

kyle dosnt eat dick...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats the worse than dieing of cancer, dieing alone and having AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the man say to the horse in the bar? Nothing, communication requires listening and comprehension which horses cannot process in their brains. If anything the man said it at the horse, not to him.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Why did the car suddenly stop? It was at a redlight.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Women's Rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did the man get when he found a genie in a lamp? The rest of his life in an asylum for schizophrenia.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Your mama's so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops