How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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your mamma so fat she is homosexual... hahaha to bad u will get last in her

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whats harder than watching a dog get hit by a bus? my boner..

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

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Your mother is so white that when she goes to the beach she has to wear sunscrean to avoid being badly sun burned.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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why did the black child get sent to child services? because he has an abusive father and an alcoholic mother

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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Why did the mormon walk into a bar? He didn't. Mormons don't drink.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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